She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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