I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
