I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
