i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
