Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize