butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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