Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She bit a glass in half.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
