Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
