I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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