My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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