so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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