Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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