Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
