my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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