I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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