we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
