oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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