absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
