alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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