God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
