I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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