I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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