One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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