I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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