God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
