You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
