i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
