Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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