I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize