hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
