i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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