why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
