..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
