I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
