I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm like, not good at living.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
