The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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