K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
