she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
