he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
