I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
