SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
