At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
