His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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