how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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