She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
