Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Pappa wants mamma naked
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
