I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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