you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
