The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
