you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
