things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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