She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
this boner is exhausting
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
