So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
