I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
