i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
how does that bad decision feel?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize