in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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