So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
