yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
