when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
should my penis look like a turkey
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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