There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
