Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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