I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
