Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
