So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
