I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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