We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
