Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
