I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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