so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize