no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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