drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
