My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
