What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize