It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
