Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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