I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
