is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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