i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
