Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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