I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
