ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
