i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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