if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
