He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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