i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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